They're gone

The Socks have gone home. *sob*

I was off having a stupid sleep study done when Dave and Kristen stopped by. They, and The Socks, were gone when I got home this morning.

I'd left the finished socks on top of a "sock care contract" on my desk.

Um. She actually signed the contract.

That says:

In accepting the gift of these lovingly crafted, red and green variegated, 100% pure merino wool socks--hereafter referred to as “The Socks“--

I, Kristen (the giftee), make the following promises to Momma Shannon (the gifter):

1. I will NEVER place The Socks in a washing machine
2. I will hand cleanse The Socks with cool (not cold, not warm, definitely NOT hot) water and a mild soap (such as Woolite)
3. I will NEVER place The Socks in a dryer
4. I will NEVER twist or wring The Socks
5. I will gently squish excess water from The Socks with a towel and lay The Socks flat to dry
5. I will NEVER wear The Socks without shoes, as I understand The Socks are delicate in nature

In the sock gawd’s name, and by my signature, I swear to the above on this date __________ in the year two-thousand and five.

_____________________________
Kristen (giftee)

I don't know what's funnier--that I wrote it or that she signed it.

I think I need an intervention.